Premiering a movie nobody remembers

I'm guessing Hollywood finally got around to making a movie called "Hooker Cops". It's set in a futuristic Tokyo which is heavily policed by British men in suits who drive around the noirish city, enlisting sexy streetwalkers to join the law enforcement ranks, thereby cleaning up the streets and boosting criminal justice manpower at the same time. Or it could just be the long-awaited Tokyo premiere of Transporter 2.

Although the movie was released everywhere else in the world in 2005 and everybody's probably forgotten how craptastic it was, that doesn't seem to bother the Transporter himself too much. The women of Japan have taken to him like as if he's a giant Hello Kitty doll.



He's practically being squeezed to death by the kawaii bridage, including one who never seems to stray from his upper thigh/groinal area, meaning that she will in all likelihood wake up tomorrow with some very bruised knees.

Not that Mr Transporter guy is any stranger to the Asian babe contingent. In the first instalment, he starred opposite Taiwanese actress Shu Qi, who has since gone on to become a diaphanously clad harem maiden.



This time round, he has to make do with posing mock seriously beside Yinling of Joytoy (a name which has entered the modern vernacular much like Shakespeare of Stratford), the Taiwanese born-erotic model-actress-vocalist-race queen-ultimate geek fantasy. But for all her diverse and adult-rated talents, something must be lacking because she goes and does the unthinkable by pairing red with pink.



Honestly I don't think that a frilly red garter smacks of stern discipline. They don't make very secure handcuffs at all. All I'm saying is that if you want to make an authoritative statement, you're going to have to bust out some chains and black leather.