Monday, July 3

What a tangled mess we weave

Is there ever a good reason to be getting hair extensions other than to maintain your livelihood as a booty swinging rap video extra? I don't think it's right for women to be wanting bigger hair. No good will come of it. Look what happened (maybe NSFW) when plastic surgeons caved into our demands for bigger breasts.

Another thing you've got to remember is that there's no such thing as a "mild" adhesive. Once those extensions latch on, they're never going to let go unless they take a chunk of your scalp with them. Not to mention the attendant rise in human hair trafficking. It's even more sinister than it sounds. In some cases the hair is brutally chopped off by a scissor-wielding clown maniac.

The risk is entirely yours to take but now would not be a good time to blithely ignore all the unsavoury side effects resulting from prolonged use. The most severe ones have gone undocumented until now.

Loss of appetite, social withdrawal, failure of favourite team to win the World Cup

Poor verbal skills, craving for attention, impairment of taste in men

Irritability, mood swings

Bronzy skin discolouration, perfumes being named after unflattering character traits

Exhibitionist tendencies, 12 month sentence in a Federal prison for perjury (however temporarily stopping usage resulted in early release after 10 months)

Next update: Wednesday 5 July


Post a Comment

<< Home