Miss Teen Cosplay 2006

Perfectly rehearsed answers given by cosplay contestants to standard pageant questions

What bothers you most about what is happening in the world today?

The greatest threat we face comes from the alternate universe known as the Negaverse. Even as we speak, monsters from the Negaverse have infiltrated our world and are terrorising innocent citizens. Queen Beryl is gathering her evil armies to launch a devastating attack upon Earth, leaving it a barren wasteland just like the original Moon Kingdom whence I hail. If I win this competition I will make it my priority to defeat the forces of evil and save the world from almost-certain destruction!

Many people believe that we still live in a male-dominated society. Have you ever wished you were of the opposite sex?

Ew no, because boys are gross and klutzy and hairy in bad way. If I was a guy I wouldn't have such nice soft pink hair and I couldn't make with the glistening eyes and cute high-pitched voice to get what I want. And I think I would just roll over and die if I wasn't able to wear panties and provide the occasional fan service.

What do you want to achieve in life?

I look forward to the day where I can soar the majestic skies, basking in the exhilarating freedom of floating among the clouds, and raining down candy and diamonds on the landbound mortals below. Ha ha, then will I no longer be known as a Victoria's Secret chick with blue hair.

What is the most important thing you have learnt from this competition?

This whole experience has been a tremendous learning curve for me. I now know that it's better to be overdressed than underdressed for these things. One of the judges also tossed me a nugget of wisdom - "Bunny-girls are a dime a dozen," he said and I will certainly remember that one for next time.

What special quality could you bring to the title you are competing for tonight?

No doubt there are some very special girls here tonight and everyone is unique in their own way. However I challenge you to find someone who can bellydance their way into the hearts of homeless people and enthrall them into forgetting about their cold and miserable existence on the streets.

What quality do you like most about yourself and why?
My unwavering faith in a pair of tissue-wrapped oranges to lead me towards success. It helps me to stand out from the crowd, especially when that crowd includes a dude in a bright red donkey suit.

How will you make a difference to this world?

Clearly I am destined for greatness and the choices made during my quests will have an immeasurable impact on the future of society. Furthermore my sword has untold powers which I can invoke to reawaken the long lost race of magnificent dragons. Finally, I will usher in heralded era of world peace by fulfilling an ancient prophecy and go on to become Mariah Carey's personal stylist.

Why do you want to win this title?

The elven blood coursing through my veins has gifted me with a ruthlessly competitive streak and a relentless need to engage in CV-building extracurricular activities. Besides, I didn't spend 5 hours in makeup to be beaten by a bimbo who stuffs fruit down her tank top.

Next update: Sunday 20 August