Friday, August 4

If she could talk to the animals

The animal kingdom responds to Lindsay Lohan's problems with dehydration

Not wanting to be Captain Obvious here, but a daily diet of fresh fruits goes a long way. Show me a chilled fruit platter at breakfast and I'll show you an employee who's never late for work.

Avoid heavy meats like pork and guzzle on a refreshing vegetable salad instead. Freeze first for an all-natural icy treat with a crunchy centre. If you use dry ice, this thing could feed you for the entire week.

I would have thought that a megastar like her gets personally hosed down when heat exhaustion starts to kick in. If I were her I would demand that my trailer comes with a set of sprinklers for me to run through.

I find that strangers are generally more than willing to share their ice creams on a hot summer's day. There is very little risk involved for someone who already has more germs than the average human.

I've run out of claws to count the number of different bikinis she has worn in public but I can't actually remember when was the last time I actually saw her in the water. Come on in Lindsay, the water's lovely!

Girl's got a tongue hasn't she so why doesn't she use it properly? Panting is an effective way of getting cool quickly because it allows cool air to circulate into the body and evaporates moisture from the tongue. And that concludes your science lesson for today.

Lying sprawled naked on a bed of ice also helps. I bet there would be people willing to pay good money to see that.

It's all about what lifestyle choice you make. When I held my birthday party, the theme was black & white. When Lindsay celebrates her birthday, the theme is high as a kite. Go figure which one of us going to end up in rehab first.

I don't see what the big deal is about her. I much prefer Nicole Richie.

Next update: Monday 7 August


At 1:47 PM, Blogger sway said...

well, you know...The poor girl's exhausted as well as dehydrated.

We need to get the girl to do the guarana pills and noni juice too. I personally suggest crushing the pills to make the more appetising to her refined palate.

At 7:40 PM, Blogger Fashion.Faux.Pas said...



At 12:14 AM, Anonymous marshmallow said...

cute pictures. i'm not sure many women will adopt your advice about panting etc.

At 1:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That last picture really does look like Nicole Richie! I also think it is the same photo a co-worker emailed to me after a very confusing conversation over what kind of meat was in the fifth course at the company dinner in Guangzhou. Has Nicole been seen recently? I'm afraid I might have had her for dinner last week.


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