Wednesday, June 8

Aging gracefully

While facial reconstruction experts are busy pottering about their Royal Egyptian Mummy project, my own team of forensic scientists have also been conducting valuable research. Using advanced biometrics technology and what have you, they have managed to artificially age some of our best-loved faces by at least 30 years.

Step into my wonderful Delorean time machine and see how today's starlets will weather the toll of paparazzi, short-lived relationships, substance abuse and above all, the tanning booth.

Hilary Duff

Britney Spears

Mischa Barton

Lindsay Lohan

Paris Hilton

Jessica Simpson

Unfortunately in some cases, this exercise could not be done because the aging process had already set in at an alarming rate.


At 3:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are right on the money for all of those!

At 5:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Doesn't the brunnette Olsen (mary kate? whatever) look like she smells of rancid patchouli and unwashed pits?

Just sayin'.

At 5:29 AM, Blogger Crazy Like A Fox said...

Oh my God, that is so dead on. Friggin' hilarious.

At 9:27 AM, Blogger Ellipsis said...

hahaha...amazing resemblance between those before/after photos..

At 10:20 AM, Blogger Slinky said...

That was brilliant! And yes, ick to the Olsen twins, especially the brunette one (i can't tell them apart). They look like escappe midget Floridians who ran away from the Golden Acres Old Age Home.

At 12:56 PM, Blogger JellyGirl said...

Brilliant sleuthing!

At 2:14 PM, Blogger Tony P said...

A million monkeys matching a million photos for a million years couldn't come up with a more uncanny resemblance for each of those examples.

I'm amazed.

At 4:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


so waht did your agent say about us getting married then?


At 6:00 PM, Blogger Spirit Fingers said...

She said I can't commit wedlock outside of the Church of Scientology. Tricky things, these belief systems are.

At 6:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mary-kate and Ashley look soooooooooooo cute
and the one who can't tell the Olsen twins apart is the most stupid person ever!


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