Hot careers 2006
Once your children have mastered basic life skills like using the toilet without making a mess, it's time to set them on the path to career success. Not interested in any of the glossy brochures you've shown them? Well have you considered pre-enrolling them in the armed forces? Not only is the military always scouting for talent, but it recognises that kids can do more than just look cute in army fatigues.
What a brilliant idea. As soon as they are big enough to hold a long stick, teach them to ram it into your stomach. Of course this is all just practice for when asssault rifles come in junior sizes.
Here's what a typical lesson plan would look like:
6-7am: reveille, "Simon Says" breakfast drill
7-8am: breakfast and morning roll call (to the tune of Old McDonald Had a Farm)
8-9am: water pistol marksmanship
9-9.30am: milk break
9.30-11am: video - unarmed combat the Barney way
11am-12pm: "My Very First Terrorist" colouring book - colour in the terrorists and learn some new interrogation tactics
1-2pm: dollhouse siege
3-4pm: playground obstacle course
4pm: personal time and demerit details
In all likelihood your child will probably resent you in the beginning for packing them off to military kindergarten. But after a couple of weeks the complaints will stop and they'll become quite accustomed to keeping things superorganized and neat and sleeping in hard cots. After all isn't that what a career is about - getting used to doing something everyday until it becomes almost bearable?
Another blog to visit: Free PMS - you have to get to know me really...there's too much.