Friday, September 8

It's not a girl!

What's happening here? Britney Spears hasn't even delivered yet and already a wave of euphoria has gripped Japan. However this has nothing to do with the latest Federline meal-ticket and everything to do with the sanctity of the Chrysanthemum Throne. After 40 years of waiting, one of the princesses finally did the very thing they exist to do and delivered a male heir. Public reaction could be gauged by the number of people celebrating openly in the streets in a sort of impromptu male-pride festival.

Unsurprisingly the elder generation has been the most pleased with the arrival of the prince. One little old lady says, "The monarchy is a serious institution that is built on the strength of its male members. Let's leave the little girls to vapid Hollywood celebrities. By the way I heard the baby has Asian eyes and looks a bit like Chris Klein."

These men have been told by their mothers and wives that the baby prince is a good thing, so they too are absolutely jubilant at the news.

Meanwhile little schoolboys are overjoyed that they won't be subjected to the whims of a prissy little princess who might just one day decide that all school uniforms have to be pink. Their teachers are inwardly gloating that now the royal tutors will know what it's like to have a little boy around.

Other babies have also started pouring in their well-wishes to the imperial household. This one is particularly relieved that the looming constitutional crisis and thorny questions of succession law reform have been averted for now.

And how is the Princess Aiko (formerly the leading contender for the throne) taking this life-altering development? According to palace sources the Princess has described the idea of having a new cousin as awesome but not as awesome as a pony from the stables of the Dutch royal family. But as she grows older, cloak & dagger intrigue and plotting of the highest order might become necessary if she decides on "ruling a nation" as a career. Just as well Macbeth is her favourite bedtime story.

Next update: Monday September 11


At 2:00 AM, Blogger Gigi said...

AHHH!!!! You have no clue how long I've been calling people the diet coke of evil. It's so awesome to meet someone who appreciates the art Austin Powers.
Check out my blog, email me, do something! LOL.

At 2:54 PM, Anonymous Eva said...

A brilliant satire as always and a welcome change of subject. I visit often to enjoy your wit but you focus mainly on fashion and celebrities. Do you plan to diversify? You could be quite devastating in politics!

At 11:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's a terrible photo of the princess with all that blood.

Does it symbolise Japanese Imperial agression against other countries in Asia?

Is she finger painting with the blood?


At 2:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

yes, japan still has some backwards ideas, but to say that japan is still an "imperialist aggressor" is a bit harsh, no?


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