Wednesday, September 6

A second chance to squander



Now that the GREAT SURI CRUISE REVEAL has taken place we can all lie back in relief, safe in the knowledge that the world is right again. Another great piece of news is that Hong Kong banker Mimi Monica Wong has won back a respectable sum of US$8 million from the most overpriced salsa dance instructors in the world. This means that she is now free to fritter away money on another fruitless venture, apart from trying to obtain exclusive access to certain celebrity baby pictures because in case you hadn't heard the GREAT SURI CRUISE REVEAL has already happened. Based on speaking to really rich but really naive people, I have identified the best options available to Ms Wong.


For a ridiculous sum roughly equivalent to her divorce settlement, Jessica Simpson will teach you a new dancesport called roller-flamenco. There is only move involved - the rest involves being gently pushed along by a crew of stylists, handlers and assistants.


High net worth individuals are in luck because for a limited time, Donald Trump is giving one-on-one seminars titled "Baseball: the Elegance, Poetry and a Whole Lot More in Motion".


US$8 million can go a long way in paying for surgical enhancements not covered by medical insurance. These valuable add-ons can ultimately help you find the rapper-actor of your dreams.


After purchasing your new body, there might be some left over for body expression lessons. The best courses are based in Venezuela and teaches you the subtle difference between standing on a street corner and a pageant stage.


Why not give it away to people who really need it? There are many avenues for performing noble charity work such as moving as many units of Paris Hilton's self-titled CD as possible, so that she can reach her rightful place at the top of the charts.


Or just do what every other wealthy woman in Hong Kong does - blow it all away on shopping while still looking dissatisfied with the life fate has dealt them.

Next update: Friday September 8

2 Comments:

At 7:21 AM, Blogger naridu said...

awwww, poor Kelly-bub.

 
At 11:52 PM, Anonymous ecfifi said...

Jessica's thunder thighs are going to melt into pure cellulite once she stops wearing slut-puppy shoes.

 

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