Wednesday, February 16

Career Limiting Move

Anybody who's ever pretend-perused the business section of the newspaper seems to have a theory about Carly Fiorina's surprise resignation as CEO of Hewlett Packard. Before people start analysing her downfall, they should get their heads out of MBA primers and check out the gossip magazines instead. It's the only way these rookie business commentators are going to be able to form an informed opinion.

I'm not down with all the corporate lingo like "differences over how to execute strategy" but I wasn't shocked by the announcement at all. I knew the writing on the wall when I saw this:

Assuming that millions of dollars weren't at stake, the idea of letting Gwen Stefani design a camera is kind of amusing when the woman that can't even be trusted to appear in front of a camera without causing irreparable damage to it. Not content with proclaiming Gwen as HP's hippest product engineer, Ms Fiorani had further ill-conceived plans in mind. Her mastermindery would not be complete until Gwen was installed as the permanent face of HP.

It didn't impress the board that Gwen had thoughtlessly referred to herself as a dork AND a geek when these terms are mutually exclusive. The final straw came when the incompetent ex-CEO proposed a billion dollar ad campaign featuring multiple incarnations of Gwen and familiar HP slogans.

Take photos worth framing.

Can you afford to change?

You are a walking contradiction.

You have millions of colours at your fingertips and you're not afraid to use them.

Everything is possible.

People are talking.

Your PC will never the same again.

Let this be a lesson to all the CEOs who have no plans to cash in their golden handshakes just yet.


At 12:53 PM, Blogger Brakooviev said...

I used to like Gwen Stefani. Thank you for intervening.

At 1:46 PM, Blogger Spirit Fingers said...

I used to like her as well! Loved that pink wedding dress. Come back fun kooky but not as creepy as now Gwen!

At 11:09 PM, Blogger j-a said...

she's ok. just fashion challenged.

At 1:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

In that first picture, Gwen looks butchier than Carly, and that's really saying something. Gwen's a total drag queen there.

At 2:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

the "balding Flintstones prison-inmate" picture has to be my favorite. she looks like the electric chair wasn't quite enough to finish her off in that one.



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