Dogwatch

I felt that you all deserved an update regarding the little dog as fashion accessory situation. NEWSFLASH: Puppy breeders have found a way to make them smaller than ever before. Even smaller than the average Hollywood breast:



Somebody must be feeding the little dogs after midnight because they are also proliferating at a near exponential rate. They could soon outnumber humans of lesser intelligence. And still look stupid while doing it.



There remains a minority group who still enjoy the company of bigger dogs but the amount of affection lavished on them borders on uncivilised.



Hey Ms Keitel I don't care how handsome your dog is but such public displays of affection would make even a dry-humping rottweiler blush. Go get a kennel that rents by the hour or something. It don't matter one bit that your mum is Dr Melfi from The Sopranos. Or that your dad was "The Wolf" and "Mr White". Or that Kate Winslet actually urinated in front of him. There are several liberties that come with being celebrity offspring but this is not one of them.