Monday, April 25

Wedding Gown Challenge

Calling all lovely ex-brides, can you still fit into your wedding gown? When people ask me that question, I reply, well duh can Tobey Maguire still fit into his Spidey suit? Can movie physics overcome the unbearable tension forces that Tobey would exert while swinging from his web strands?



Damn right, post-marriage is a time to let yourself go. There are too many things to worry about like added expenditure, sharing the tv, husband starring in movie with Angelina Jolie and running off to Morocco with her.

Having said that, the Wedding Gown Challenge sounds like quite the fun thing to do. For starters, it could be a stark reminder of how there really is such a thing as too much tulle. Even if you're not in New York, you must rise, and encourage others to rise to the challenge. I hear that Victoria Beckham is planning to take part, provided she's got her weight down to reasonable level and the marriage contract is extended to August.



If your wedding gown used as much fabric as one of Aretha Franklin's gowns then you probably have nothing to worry about. Otherwise you might need to suck it up and get a kickass corset. They're quite popular these days you know, even the non-fetish ones.

Ah how I remember my first corset. It lifted the bust, improved posture and created a tiny waist that was the envy of the entire colony. I was never happier, right up until the time I passed out in the dusty street with my uterus lolling about somewhere between my lungs. Of course that was way back during the days of rigid social norms and slightly less desperate housewives. Nowadays they make corsets more natural looking.

11 Comments:

At 5:14 AM, Blogger Asian Lep said...

Re: Purple Corset Picture

When did Boy George get boobs?

 
At 7:19 AM, Blogger Crazy Like A Fox said...

Silly, that's not Boy George. It's Ozzy in drag.

 
At 8:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's Ozzy? What a relief! For a minute, there, I thought it was Kelly. The Popeye tatoo should have clued me in.
atmikha

 
At 4:32 PM, Blogger hundrednorth said...

Oh, Tobey. My friends and I have a term for the phenomenon when actors slide into 'pudge-n-fudge' territory (ie. Joshua Jackson, and that guy who plays Xander on 'Buffy'): it's "getting Chandler".

 
At 7:21 PM, Blogger Desci said...

Hundrednorth, that is gold. We weer all so, so very disappointed when Xander became chunky.

 
At 4:34 AM, Blogger j-a said...

that is so sad, tobey maguire! get back into shape!

 
At 1:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You too, Alec Baldwin!

 
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