Saturday, April 1

What happens when creative juices dry up


Ben Hur 2: The Hasty and the Wrathful
Director Jan de Bont follows in the hallowed footsteps of Cecil B. Demille with this long awaited sequel. Ben Hur (Vin Diesel) returns to the hippodrome to defend his title at the prestigious World Chariot Racing Championships. However this time he faces a ruthless challenger known as Gaius to the Maximus (Kevin Spacey) who will stop at nothing to win. Featuring Bow Wow as rival chariot team leader and Carmen Electra as love interest.

Bad Hair Dayz
Kevin Federline turns in a strong debut performance as Samson the most popular senior at Philistine High. When he dumps his girlfriend (Tara Reid) just before their final prom, her emo sister Delilah (Ashlee Simpson) vows to pay revenge by sleeping with him many times and then maybe cutting off his prized cornrow mullet. But first she has to compete for his attention with the nasty but gorgeous clique known as the The Heifers (Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, Mischa Barton).

Snakes on a Felucca
High-octane thriller directed by Michael Bay. Charismatic everyman Moses (Nic Cage) misses the bus at rush hour and hitches a ride home on a passing sailboat. However a crazy foreign-sounding bastard (John Malkovich) is also using the boat to smuggle a deadly cargo of snakes with bombs strapped to them. Chaos breaks out on board when one of the reptiles breaks loose and sets about freeing the others. It's up to Moses to save the rivers of the Nile from exploding serpents so that he can get home to his hot wife (Adriana Lima) and kids.

A Den to Remember
In this bittersweet coming of age story, Daniel (played by that kid from Two and a Half Men) is an awkward pre-teen who is sent by his warring parents to spend a summer in Babylon. Rejected by his peers, he strikes up an unlikely friendship with a spunky, free-spirited and quirky lion (Kate Hudson) who teaches him about making the most of life. However the Lion is hiding a tragic secret which threatens to end their relationship.

The Seasoning Murders
A clever suspense thriller that will have viewers on the edge of their seats. After a botched case which kills her partner (Freddie Prinze Jr), Special Agent Miriam (Ashley Judd) is assigned to desk duty in a small town in midwest Canaan. She is soon forced back into the detective game when the deputy mayor Lot (Ben Affleck) finds his wife petrified into a pillar of salt. Her investigations lead her uncover a startling conspiracy linked to the fledgling commodity markets.

Sodom and Gomorrah
Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson team up with the Farrelly Brothers for a wacky new comedy about love and friendship. Best friends since grade school, Sodom (Stiller) and Gomorrah (Wilson) made a pact never to get married. Fast forward to twenty years later when Gomorrah is about to wed the woman of his dreams (Jessica Alba). Hoping to change his buddy's mind and protect the sanctity of bachelorhood, Sodom takes Gomorrah on the most debauched stag weekend ever to show him what he's missing out on.


At 9:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

god damn your funny. I've found you last year & look foward to your endless drollery & wit but this takes the cake, I would'nt be surprized if some lazy screen writer found these submitted them.

At 11:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am personally looking forward to the Remakes of the New Testament....


At 11:37 AM, Blogger JellyGirl said...

Your blog is really the funny, but I have to say this post is especially funny. One of your best! Loves it!


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