The dating game

After stalking your not-so-secret crush for several months and writing your phone number on the back of his hand with a tattoo gun, you might find yourself being asked out on a date by him. But that's just the beginning and those first few dates can make or break a relationship. You don't want to stuff it up by sending out the wrong signals through inappropriate clothing. Being somewhat of a relationship guru, I can spare you the agony of going through one of those silly wardrobe montages you see so often in the movies.

First date
First impressions are everything. This is how the winners of most reality contests are decided. You want to make sure it looks like you put some effort into looking nice for him but at the same time you don't want to scare him off by being too intense. The best thing to do is to keep things light (in colour), breezy (very little fabric) and fun (no bra).



Second date
Most people think that this is better worn on the first date but then those people are golddiggers. It is only on the second date when you should broach the subject of what other things he can buy you besides dinner. The message on this t-shirt actually works both ways because it shows that you don't condone wallowing in debt as a means to support your lavish lifestyle.



Third date
Wow, third date already. Are you sure he isn't feeling a little stifled? You might want to set a few parameters regarding exclusivity. It will be a relief to him to know that you're serious about being his girl at some point in the future but in the meantime it's also ok for him to bring back other harem slave girls to his perfumed den of iniquity.



Fourth date
Things are really hotting up now that it's ok for him to hold your hand in public. But if you want to be touched in other places, you'll need to convey that desire through a tactile fabric like crushed velour.



Fifth date
Before you take the relationship to the next level, now would be a good time to be perfectly honest with each other. He might not mind that you've been around the block more times than a noisy ice cream van but this dress says that maybe you should both wait a little longer, at least until the yeast infection clears up.



Sixth date
OK this is it! See how this convertible halter top can be manipulated into a variety of different positions to make everything seem 3 times tartier than they actually are? From here on end this versatility and inherent shamelessness is what's going to get you through the rest of the relationship, or at least until the very next morning.


Reader experiences are welcomed so that we might learn to improve our courtship signals. Did your well-planned outfit lead you on the path to blissful love? If you could turn back time to the one that got away, would you have worn things differently?

Another blog to visit: My Wardrobe Today - It takes so long to figure out what to wear most days, I might as well journal it!