OMG she copied me!

What to do when someone else at the pool is wearing the same swimming costume as you

Tilt your head ever so slightly, smile stiffly and stare vacantly in the distance as if nothing untoward has happened


Use every ounce of energy to keep pretenders to your style throne at arms-length and preferably underwater


Flip her over to find out whether she is merely wearing an inferior knockoff and should be mocked accordingly


Point and shout "Hey look over there!" before making a dash for it.


Overreact with fake astonishment and joy, then loudly compliment each other's impeccable style and taste in theatrical tones


Try to make yourself stand out through some high-fashion moves and really "own the look".


Cry out desperately to the heavens above "Oh Lord why have you done this to me? Why hast thou forsaken me? Why?!?!?"


Next update: Monday 18 September