Tuesday, April 26

Boxers, briefs and more

After the success of the Great Strides in Panties (Part 1 and Part 2) series, I can no longer step out of the house without being inundated for underwear advice. The guys in particular have been quite keen to find out how to update their crotchal styles.

You'd be surprised at how many guys are seeking to break the monotony of the daily groin. They've had it up to here (approximately crotch level) with the same old stuff. Most of them are decidedly sick of their MANties by now. Lace & bows, bows & roses....after a while, it all melds into a frilly mess cascading out of the underwear drawer.

Here's a brief rundown of the players in the men's underwear market today.
Butt For You
When one starts talking about regular and slimline pads, it brings to mind "that time of the month" when white pants don't get worn due to side leakage and so forth. However these terms are also relevant in the context of padded boxer briefs.

BFUs can magically supplant a bony ass without the need for butt implants. There are 2 pad sizes - Colt (suitable for light flow days if you are still thinking in menstrual terms) and Stallion (moderate to heavy flow days). You will see that Colt also appears to provide that extra bit of padding in the front.

Finally, BFUs can be worn for cycling, skiing, skating, and all other spectator sports where tight pants are the only reason to keep watching.

Let's get 2 things straight: (1) This is NOT your mother's pantyhose (2) This is not a pantyhose fetish website. Now we've got that sorted out, we can feel a lot more comfortable discussing this product.

Comfilon's Activskin is a sort of combined brief and sock that can be worn outside of ballet class. Don't be cheap. Stump up a few extra bucks and get one with a fly opening. They're smooth, a bit shiny and have that glidey massagey feel. Recommended for work even though the urge to stroke your legs all day long will result in some loss in productivity.

Words like "low motility" are strike fear in the heart of many men. Apparently one can reduce this risk by spending less time in the hot tub. Perhaps this explains why nobody ever gets pregnant at the Playboy Mansion.

What one wears is another important factor. To promote male fertility, the Germans have come up with sacfree underwear, the first boxerslip of the world. Why the Germans? It's mostly because virility has long been an admired trait in Germany, as demonstrated by David Hasselhoff's godlike status in that country.

The key features of sacfree underwear are comfort, liberty and sexiness. Sexy? Well if you like to buy your meat from the butchers half unwrapped. Ultimately it's all for a good cause and there is little scope to argue against such a resounding statement of finality:
For your testicles only the best.


At 1:42 AM, Anonymous Connie said...

Let me just tell you how much I LOVE your blog...the best one I've yet to read! :D

At 3:08 AM, Anonymous Tobias said...

If anyone out there hasn't visited the website for the sacfree undies, you must go NOW. I can just imagine the day of the photo shoot. There guys got payed to "hang brains". We just used to do it for fun.

At 3:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Spirit Fingers,

Will you marry me?


At 10:21 PM, Blogger Tazzy said...

I could die laughing reading your blog everyday...and be in heaven :D

At 1:58 AM, Blogger Spirit Fingers said...

Marriage? Let me speak to my agent about that and see if it is good for my public profile.

At 2:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

sacfree would be perfect for someone I know who plays with his scrote at the dinner table - now he can do so without obstacle!


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