Wednesday, April 20

Spring break III: Beijing



Break out the cornea-blasting ethnic costumes, I'm off to Beijing until next week. The Chinese capital certainly has aspirations of being the next style capital. Mind you, they are only aspirations borne out of fitful dreams at the moment, but one day they will be realised. That day cannot come soon enough for people who shop in the following department store sections:

Communionwear


Urnwear


Mittwear


B-Grade-horror-moviewear


I also like how Chinese designed underwear has evolved into something that's stylized for the masses.


Candy pink ruffles are mainstream once again! Not just for men who use frosted ligloss anymore.

Tuesday, April 19

A Global Concern

One royal wedding down, one more to go. I'm referring to the impending nuptials of Jordan and Peter Andre. Not only has Jordan redefined celebrity by several cup sizes, but she's also redefined celebratory patisserie.

You'd think that several good things would come out of this marriage. Peter will put his music career on hold. Jordan will permanently quit her wild partying ways, preferring to curl up on the couch and provide some firm head and neck support for her husband to lean back on while they watch tv. They'd be the picture of marital bliss, the British version of Coco and Ice T:



All things considered, Jordan would become a better woman. WRONG! Marriage has given her all sorts of crazy ideas, like wanting to reduce her breast size. The collective cry of dismay that followed rang out like a shot heard around the world. It even made breaking news in scientific circles.

She's much too young to be passing on the beacon of bustage to Jodie Marsh or Victoria Silvstedt. So what if Victoria made love on a jet ski, Jordan's probably made love TO a jet ski! Without any safety precautions too!

The Sun newspaper has launched a campaign to stop this madness. So far, this campaign has received resounding support from many slavering corners of the earth. The problem is, I don't see any participation from Hong Kong or any other part of Asia for that matter! Have we really become so self-involved that we fail to recognise what's happening in other parts of the world? The Great Wall of China isn't the only manmade structure to be seen from space you know!

To all the readers in Asia, let's throw our petty differences (and our work) aside and take our place in the global community. Send your message of support today! Every five seconds a breast implant gets removed somewhere in the world. What are you going to do about it?

Monday, April 18

Too much sodium nitrite

Just stopping by to let you know how much I thoroughly enjoyed Manila. I was so impressed with the airport security that I asked to be frisked, not once but twice!
Although costs are lower in Manila I flagrantly blew out the corporate expense account with several meals at Spam Jam:



Rice Combo #1 (Sweetened Spam with Egg and Garlic Rice) comes highly recommended by me.

On my travails, I also learnt that the Lopez family is an extremely wealthy and influential clan. They own a whole bunch of stuff (I believe they're called assets)like utilities, media corporations and possibly lots of dugongs. To think, that they're almost as powerful in their home country as their namesake Jennifer Lopez is in her own mind.

Jennifer Lopez! Now there's a name that's been relegated to the back pages ever since everybody else decided to get pregnant or secretly married or put on trial. PETA has been fighting the good fight against the excessive fur in her debut Sweetface collection. Jennifer needs to realise that she can replace fur with other less harmful materials, like say, nacho, to achieve the same stylish effect:



Maybe it's all the sodium nitrite in the spam talking but there's also something else I find wildly inappropriate about her designer collection. Sweetface?




Come on now. It just doesn't work. It'd be like calling the next Pope, Pope Incubus VIVIVI.