Superhero Blind Items
1. Which silver haired steward to the crimefighting stars has a taste for expensive drugs and even more expensive hookers? Apparently when the master's away, the servant will play. He's known for throwing the most delightful cocaine-fuelled orgies at the mansion - at the last one, you could hear chandeliers rattling all the way in the caverns underneath!
2. This long-suffering superhero wife has got the cutest dimples but she's no goody two-shoes. Word on the street is that she's been having a swinging good time with someone other than her beau. Somebody who wears his underpants on the outside of his pants no less! It's only a matter of time before her husband sees through her web of deceit and he'll be as mad as a tiger when that happens!
3. He's a manly man mutant with no shortage of female admirers. But everyone knows he only has eyes for a psychic hottie who's already attached. Or so it would seem. At a drunken comic convention, Manly Man Mutant let slip that he'd actually really like to sink his claws into her boyfriend! Trouble is, the boyfriend is blind to his team member's affections so for now, Manly Man Mutant is just going to have to keep hiding in that unbreakable metal closet.
4. Which masked evildoer hell bent on world domination likes to be dominated himself? If you press a secret button in his research lab, it converts to a fully-stocked dungeon! He also has a robot dominatrix on hand to deliver him a good ole spanking everytime he's defeated by the good guys.
5. Having too many women in her household has made Bulletproof Bimbo a little desperate for male company. At clubs, she can usually be found rubbing up the nearest guy while wearing the skimpiest of outfits. Last week she picked up a random cocktail water and invited him back to her pad. So lusty was Bulletproof Bimbo that she decided to get things started in her private jet while it was still on the ground! What she didn't know was that she had left it on invisible mode, treating passersby to a fine view of her magic lasso.
6. Which mighty son of omnipotency refuses to leave the house without full makeup and his flowing blonde locks immaculately styled? He spends more time posing with his trademark weapon than throwing it. According to his colleagues he's also quite the famewhore - one time he refused to enter a burning building until the press showed up!
7. The Marvel Hotel won't be welcoming this behemoth superhero anytime back soon. Recently he was sent by his bosses to a 1-week anger management retreat. The all-expenses paid trip included a deluxe suite at the Marvel Hotel, one that would make you green with envy. Instead of attending the destress seminars, he spent his time gambling at the adjoining casino. But after getting into a losing streak, his rage got the better of him and he ended up destroying his suite and half the casino! No word on who will be footing the gigantic bill.
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