Dressing for the time poor
One morning as I was trying on my seventh outfit for work, I thought there has be a better way to do this. It really shouldn't take so much time to pick out an outfit but it does. I could channel that time into more productive matters, like reading up on how to throw handshadows on to a wall.
And I know there are plenty of women out there who face the same dilemma every morning (and who really want to learn how to throw handshadows as well). We're only female you know. We're not like men who can come to a swift decision about whether an ankle-length suit, lace stockings and diamond brooch works for a court appearance. After some brainstorming with my plush toys, I have compiled some time-saving tips for tackling the morning rush.
Behold the simple power of a belt. A belt dresses up everything to the nth degree so much so that it becomes feasible to go out in your dressing gown. All you need to do is brush your hair and walk in purposeful strides and nobody will report you to the police.
When the weather is miserable what jacket you wear becomes entirely irrelevant. People will be too moody to murmur superficial compliments about your designer-inspired trenchcoat. A heavy duty garbage bag easily goes with everything. You might even get someone to make a wisecrack about "taking out the trash" and get the whole office smiling again.
Once removing the clothes from the hanger, you'll find that storing the hanger in your hair instead of back in the closet is a real time-saver. Plus you've scored a darling new hair accessory that's less tacky than a plastic hair clip.
To achieve the sexy-just-rolled-out-of-bed look you must do just that, taking the sheets with you at the same time. If you have a little bit of spare time, you can bring your napkin-folding skills to the fore and create a human-sized serviette to do slow rolling motions in.
When in doubt, just take along the whole laundry rack. It saves having to figure out which of your clothes are still damp or are more wrinkled than all four Rolling Stones put together.
Finally I've figured out what these magic crystal garden kits are good for. You just need mix the magic crystals in with your morning ablutions. By time you reach work, hey presto you will be fully clothed!
Next update: Monday July 31