Manolo Aptitude Test
Very few people are able to refer to themselves in the third person, and Manolo Blahnik is one of them. The Manolo loves the shoes and the shoes love him back for turning them into works of art. But before you rush over to gawk at the Manolo (and his uncanny resemblance to Gunther from the TV show Friends), make sure you are worthy enough by taking the Manolo Aptitude Test.
Manolo has stated that he has long been celibate as it helps clear his mind and focus his creativity. However It is an industry secret that Manolo Blahnik had a lovechild with a designer groupie and the child was named:
(a) Manilow Blahnik, after his favourite singer
(b) Manila Blahnik after his favourite type of office folder
(c) Margolo Blahnik after his favourite Simpsons character
(d) Manpolo Blahnik after his favourite item of apparel
The minute anyone puts on a pair of Manolos, they become:
(b) Mucho Sexy
(c) Sexier than scented candles, massage oil and Barry White music
(d) Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that
A recent survey found that if the Manolo titanium heels were available, which of the following incidences would markedly increase:
(a) stabbings of stalkers or muggers
(b) stabbings of unfaithful lovers
(c) stabbings of unfaithful lovers' lovers
(d) stabbings on the dancefloor
Madonna once said that Manolo's shoes were as good as sex and they lasted much longer. Which of her partners' stamina was she referring to when she made this statement? Please limit answer to 10 pages.
Madonna is no longer a fan of Manolo Blahnik since he made which one of the following disparaging remarks about her acting ability:
(a) Watching Madonna act is like watching Mandonna perform her greatest hits but without the camp value
(b) I would rather wear a pair of Jimmy Choos than have to sit through Swept Away
(c) Her involvement in film should be limited to drycleaning Guy Ritchie's clothes when he comes home from fox-hunting
(d) I would only pay money to watch Evita if Antonio Banderas was playing an animated cat version of Zorro.
A pair of Manolo Blahnik costs from US$450 upwards. Imagine that you are a struggling office serf without the benefit of fashion industry discounts and access to private sample sales. Calculate how many instant cup noodle meals you must have before you can save enough to buy a pair at retail.
Manolo provided several pairs of Timbs to Jennifer Lopez for use in her videos during the making of her album "This is Me...Then". The unholy trinity of a stiletto heel, a Timberland boot and an overexposed celebrity launched one of the hottest fashion trends in the hip hop community. In a rare display of appreciation, J-Lo penned a song dedicated to him called:
(a) If You Had My Timbs
(b) Shoes Don't Cost a Thing
(c) M to Tha L-O!
(d) Manny from the Block
Manolo Blahnik is to shoes as:
(a) Thor is to thunder
(b) Kim Jong-Il is to the bouffant hairdos
(c) Michelangelo is to frescoes on chapel ceilings
(d) Paris Hilton is to STDs