Tuesday, June 21

Summer Break: Paris

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Paris (the city, not the amateur porn star) is in urgent need of my diplomatic prowess so I will need to spend a week in that insufferable place. The Eiffel Tower needs to be cleansed after last Friday's farce, someone needs to shamelessly promote Chinese cuisine, there's the whole Olympic bid to prepare, and then there's the small problem of the North Africans. We can't have the latter running amok in the fashion capital, terrorising Parisians with their futuristic body armour and thigh-high boots:

It's not just the North Africans, you know. The once grand boulevards have been overrun by some rather unsavoury elements (clad in this season's fashions) such as:
Tin foil hat conspiracy theorists

Low-carb dieting zombies spreading their pacifist virus

Plain ugly people, as in put a bag over your head ugly

People coming home from their regrettable one-night stands by doing the walk of shame in the morning.

Colour-blind circus performers

Homeless pregnant women with out of control flyaway hair

As you would expect, there won't be any new posts for a week since I will be busy cleaning up this scourage. This is a boon for you all, because you can focus on more appealing things like the blogs listed on my sidebar, all delectable in their own way like the 800 varieties of macaroons I will be feasting on. Au revoir and airkisses!

Monday, June 20

Sexiest vegetarian

A couple of lettuce leaves on their own don't inspire vegetarianism but drape them around the right kind of person and whoa! It's the Anne Geddes Hottest Exotic Asian Babes Calendar!

In addition to subsisting on foliage, roots and seeds, vegetarians must also be prepared to be judged for their sexiness. At GoVeg.com you can vote for who you think should be the World's Sexiest Vegetarian in the absence of any reference to cucumbers. Excitingly enough there are a couple of Asians in this year's list:

Barbie Xu

Barbie shot to fame as the lead actress in the popular Taiwanese TV Series "Meteor Garden". However she had to share screentime with four girly-haired boys who were prettier than her (one of whom was even called Ken). And who enjoyed filming shampoo ads just a bit too much (watch for Vanness, he's a keeper).

It's enough to put a girl off meat for the rest of her life!

Xiao Qiang

I'm not familiar with the works of this Taiwanese actress but instead of eating animals she apparently wears them as a muff muff.

Maggie Q

Maggie is a gorgeous Eurasian model-actress who refuses to wear fur in her photo shoots. Unfortunately that leaves her with little fabric choice apart from sheerer than sheer lace or going topless from time to time as she does in Naked Weapon and some movie with Richard Grieco.

It will be keenly-fought contest so let's give our girls some support. Now on to what's happening in the men's corner. Some of these names are very very perplexing: Alec Baldwin? David Duchovny? Tubby Maguire?!? I just..I mean..I find it hard to believe that this is the result of an over-indulgence in tofurkey:

Frankly the rest of the list does not stir me either. There's only one man who makes vegetation that much more alluring:

I'd make a comment about tossing salad or something similar but that would ruin the moment, don't you think?